How much self-worth are you attributing yourself based on how your body looks?
6.14.19 one day out of the NPC Atlantic Coast championship. 130 lb, 9% body fat. Tired, hungry, dehydrated and emotionally exhausted. Haven't had a. For 3 months. 1300 1380 calories a day. 45 minutes a fasted cardio every morning, 1 + 1/2 2 2 hours of lifting every evening plus half an hour of cardio post workout. Practicing posing.
3.26.19. first photo session with a friend after having open total body lab. Have been bulking for a month and a half. Calories 2200. 2 hours of lifting every evening. happy, well-fed, hormone levels are great, inspired, motivated and energized by the new undertaking.
Unfortunately, statistics show that especially for females the connection is very strong. I've struggled (and still am struggling, believe it or not) with body dysmorphia for the most of my life. You know how it goes: turn on TV, pick up a magazine, or even strolling the street - ANYWHERE YOU FUCKING LOOK are the skinny ass bitches smiling advertising something. Everywhere. No escape. Whether you want it or not - it creeps into your subconscious: "to be happy, I must be skinny just like them, but have a butt. Butt is important. And boobs. And a baby face. And voluminous wavy hair. Grrrreat."
Wake up, look at yourself in the mirror. The differences between you and "the ideal look" jump out so much, the despicable love handles and belly fat are the only things your eyes have the capacity to focus on. Or the fat/skin hanging above the relatively empty push-up bra, stretch marks, long nose...
So you tell friends that you work out and eat kale for breakfast lunch and dinner "for health". But in the back of your mind is "God I hope I lose weight!"
One friend of mine recently told me that he is against body positivity movement because he thinks that everyone should maintain a lean, healthy body. Loving your body the way it is today isn't about trearing it badly though. On the contrary, any healthy behavior should originate out of self-love, not as a punishment for trying to fit into a subjective standard. A side effect of such caring about yourself out of respect and love is typically - a stronger, healthier body and more energetic body. Punishing yourself with yo-yo dieting with unrealistic expectations not only discourages and slows down metabolism, but also can also send you down the self-hate spiral.
Feel comfortable in your own skin and STOP basing your self-worth on what you see in the mirror, like we all have been taught to.
Health is separate from looks. The mind fuck starts when you start linking them. So don't! Love your body the way it is, and lift, run, dance, *plug your favorite sportacticity* like a beast because (and if) you love it. Treat your body with care because you've only got one, because you're grateful that both of your hands work and your feet walk and your eyes see.