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Relax, have fun – TotalBodyLab

Relax, have fun

communication family goals life psychology relaxation self care

How often do you hear that?

Katya as LeeLoo Dancing Halloween

When you are tired, stressed, burnt-out, etc. your friends and family roll out the "entertainment, distraction and socialization ambulance."

You are being handed a drink and dessert to be followed by face masks, shopping and a night out. While the desire to help may certainly be appreciated, sometimes it is important to explain that you actually hate shopping and don't really drink. The prescribed party is only a procrastination, a band aidd for the necessity to face problems... Wallet and liver concur the "fun"ain't worth it in the long run.

While the support and help is certainly appreciated, being vocal about what kind of help is good, and which, in turn, is unnecessary, or detrimental - is YOUR JOB. If you're not going to feel relaxed until the grant application is submitted, or preparing the important presentation for the board is well-rehearsed, why not just focus on that and get more sleep instead of cluttering your schedule with more shit? *talking to myself here* Telling friends that leaving you alone for a week and not flooding you with "make sure you get some sleep health and life is more important than work!" types of messages is the best help they can provide. This is self care: setting boundaries and defining what will fly, what won't. You are not being rude. If someone is telling you so - they just have no respect for your personal space and don't have a place in your close circle of friends. Staying true to yourself can be tough, but it's ESSENTIAL for long term success. Promising to crawl out of your nerd cave for a milestone celebration after is a nice motivator for both sides.

Katya as Leeloo Dancing Charleston for Halloween

Friend and I dancing Charleston at a Halloween party celebrating the new deadlift PR of 320 lbs (145 kilos) at 155 lbs , 5'6.

Case 2: you do need that down-time, but are not keen on the type of activity that's offered. That's okay too. Bring it up instead of tolerating the type of care friends/family are shoving down your throat. No one needs future frustration because you are too shy to communicate personal preferences.

Mom used to tell me "you work so hard! Take a break, go watch a movie, splurge at a fancy restaurant, get a new dress, get a pedicure, it's on me!" While the offer certainly melted my heart, I have come to realize, that I find manicures and fancy restaurants a waste of money... regardless whose money it is - period. Not for me. Maybe I just need to tell mom that chatting on the phone with her relieves WAY more stress for me and make sure she gets it? It's okay voicing that sitting on the couch in front of some dumb show in the evening to "decompress" is my idea of hell, and going out to fancy restaurants is 95% of the time frustrating because most don't have much whole food plant based high protein non-greasy food options... Mom may not agree but certainly started respecting the fact that same things that work for her don't console me. A lot of mild arguing and explaining myself had to be done for us to come to this point, but it's worth it!

Point is - what is soothing, relaxing & fun is different to different people. Somebody is trying to engage you into something fun for them, and not you, it's your job to explain what you prefer instead rather then doing what they offer and acting pissed. People hear tactful words better than read minds...

Also running away from problems instead of solving them usually creates more problems... However there is barely anything better than crushing a new goal and rewarding yourself after (on top of feeling accomplished).

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