One of my best friends, @claysanders_art told me about his friend who did research at @dukeuniversity on gender studies about how having a large truck, loud bike, eating a lot of meat and doing other stereotypically masculine things actually characterises males who struggle with their masculinity. So they constantly are trying to "prove /boost" it.
People who are confident of their masculinity recycle, wear shirts of any colour (including pink, shocker!) , aren't afraid withhold from alcohol in social gatherings, eat plant based of they want to and are less subject to gender stigma.
I've been thinking a lot about this since having short hair, no manicure, calloused palms, and wearing tom-boy clothes the majority of the time makes me feel pretty feminine. on top of having more muscle and being physically stronger than most men I know.
I used to care about thst shit too... Been thinking about chopping off my gorgeous down-to-the-butt hair since HIGH SCHOOL. Finally did it in college and my bf at the time almost broke up with me. Crazy how the image of having a beautiful Russian girl friend with long hair was necessary for his image of a successful baseball player...
Through the years, I've built resistance to the BS ways people stigmatized what I did and how I lived (including family- the hardest part). The goal now is to maintain this sanity.
So join the club! Go be you and ignore the smartasses who have the balls to speak up too much and give unsolicited advice. Just be you.