Did you know that “natural” has no legal definition?

That’s right, that word on the package of whatever you buy can mean ANYTHING the manufacturer wants your imagination to depict! Why do you obsess about “natural” things anyways? Everything on planet earth is natural, and a chemical at the same time. We’re all chemicals made out of water, inorganic ions, and carbon-containing (organic) molecules.

You know what is natural though?

Tobacco, poison ivy, deadly nightshade, fugu fish, fresh cassava root (contains enough cyanide to cause full paralysis!), green cashews and almonds, raw potato skins and sprouts (cause nerve damage and may kill you!) There are also TONS of poisonous mushrooms and venomous animals!

So NATURAL. GO EAT THEM

God forbid you consume any tofu though NOOOOOO SO PROCESSED! No faux meats no tvp, no yogurt, no rolled oats, artificial sweeteners and definitely no seitan – IT HAS GLUTEN! OH NO!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

Our civilization has polluted the environment and expedited global warming – sure. We suck, we’re awful for this planet. However we’ve also engineered some beneficial things that benefit our livelihood. You can’t deny it. Now we live longer and healthier lives than EVER BEOFRE IN HUMAN HISTORY!

We have access to shelf stable foods, home delivered healthy prepared meals, frozen dinners… Some things surrounding us may not be NATURAL, but who has convinced us that most of the human made products suck?

RANT OVER

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